5 Key Mindsets to Succeed with Women

Being the inner game specialist in the company, I decided to share some of my key belief systems that are absolutely essential to starting up. I believe that whether you are a total beginner or a tried and tested natural, these beliefs will definitely resonate with you and will have a significant impact in your skills with women. The creation and development of these beliefs is all thanks to my self-help background, teaching experience, and the wonderful curriculum we have at Charisma Arts. Here they go:

Key Belief #1:

“The only things I can control are MYSELF, and my LOGISTICS…”

Wayne would always say that the game is all about “vibe and logistics.” Having an infectious and dynamic vibe and being at the right place at the right time are the key ingredients to a successful seduction, put in simple terms. Given that statement, I then decided to expound on that and put it as an integral foundation in our curriculum.

Guys are always asking about my famous X=X theory, and field-wise, it is simply the understanding that the projection of your own state affects the other. It is the acceptance that you are the causative agent to the vibe and not your environment. The X=X theory is also a good mindset to rid yourself of approach anxiety simply because you understand that their state will be entirely determined by yours. Whenever I see a student or a guy get blown out of a set, usually it is because they projected hesitancy, tentativeness, nervousness and awkwardness. It was hardly the fault of the other person. So, take responsibility and do activities to get your state going.

Let’s talk about Micro-Logistics. A few years ago, I spent night after night researching club logistics. I used to go up to couple after couple that I thought were together to verify their relationship. Guess what, most of them were not together and had just met each other in the club. “But they looked like they had chemistry!” is something that most guys would think in the field, but unless you actually do the approach, there is no guarantee that what your assumptions are will hold true. So, after enough research I decided to make my life easier by just understanding that I have absolutely no control over the reactions of others. I understood that in a night club environment there are thousands of factors that can affect the situation and assuming too much would just mess me up big time. As most of us Instructors say, “Just jump in and GO! GO! GO!” Just remember X=X and forget the consequences. Just go. If you need more advice on Micro-Logistics hit me up on email.

Next topic is Macro-logistics. Related topics are location, activities, and isolation. Most guys simply don’t have a game plan. They simply don’t prepare logistics for the things that could happen. There’s an old habit in the community where guys just “go out and do approaches.” with no logistics. What usually would happen is that these guys would get 10 premature number closes, and not a lot of solid sets. Your skillsets are absolutely useless unless paired with good logistics.

So, here are some tips:

<!–[if !supportLists]–> Know your city like the back of your head – know places where you could bounce after the club, and know really interesting day 2’s that will amplify the chemistry between you and the girl, as well as day 2’s that will highlight your personality. And also find different logistical possibilities when taking a girl home.<!–[endif]–>

<!–[if !supportLists]–> Fix logistics early on while in set. Find out her post-work routine, if she can do Wednesday or Thursday, if she lives with her room mate and what their situation is, if she lives 30 minutes away from the city, if she wants to book a hotel room tomorrow night so she can drink and not drive. Find out where they live and just invite yourself over. Also, look at your living area and check if its pleasing to the female eye, and check for romantic isolation spots like your patio, If you haven’t thought about these things, then you will need to master this area to even be considered intermediate with your skill. Get out of newbie-land by fixing your logistics. It only takes a few hours of planning, guys.<!–[endif]–>

Key Belief #2:

“The field is my ebook”

Obviously, the best route for anybody is to take instruction and formal training, simply because as students you will get to see the “finished product” just by seeing myself or the other Charisma Arts Instructors live on our boot camps.

But at the end of the day, the best of lessons are learned by simply going out there. There is no substitute for field experience. Approaching and interacting with 3 strangers a day isn’t a bad start. The more you do it and experiment, the more you’ll realize that all rules can be broken and simply calibrating to the situation. Also, understand that as students of the game, we get drastically better in moments of damage control, or when the interaction has gone to “dire straits.” The ability to persist is probably one of the top 3 skill sets I believe any cold-approach charmer should have.

Key Belief #3:

“I am fluid, and I can adapt to any situation…”

Delete the words “normal” and “natural” from your vocabulary. They are nothing but limiters to your development. Examples are

“I’m normally introverted and shy”

“I’m naturally not high energy/low energy”

“I don’t usually go to bars and clubs/book stores to meet people”

“I don’t usually dress this way”

“I’ve always done it this way.”

These spell instant death. Much like the theories such as “the secret,” Self-defeating statements like these can instantly mess you up even before you leave your house. Understand that this training is for self-discovery – a journey where you will learn new or untapped things about yourself, not an imposition of your old self. Hence, you are fluid. You know some rules but are not bound by them. You will adapt to any situation with a clear and open mind.

Key Belief #4:

“I don’t need to add new skill sets if I haven’t fixed my core sticking points…”

As they say, knowledge is power. However, in a game where truthfully, most guys won’t have a lot of practice, knowing “too much” can just cloud your judgment. I’m not saying other theories outside of our method wouldn’t work, its just some of them are learned in context to where you’re at in your game. There’s always a great new thing to learn especially coming from other naturals, but if you haven’t fixed your obvious sticking points, buying a CD, DVD, or e-book will even hinder you more.

Learning new skills are all about Timing. There will be times when you will absolutely not need to know a certain skill set, or even if you do, it doesn’t have any significant impact to your repertoire. Let’s take for example, push-pull banter lines. If I gave banter lines to newbies who don’t have the field experience or inner game down, they would get blown out a lot because they would come from a very reaction-seeking perspective. But later on, once they’ve understood most conversational dynamics and have gotten enough experience to have that “nothing to lose” mind set. Saying things like “what?? You want to beat me off??” As absurd as it sounds, can work when coming from the right mindset and perspective. There have been times where for a few weeks I would learn pure sexual kino in clubs, and leading, then once I have that down I’ll concentrate on I-perspective and belief-projection.

Look, most of you guys already know yourselves. And if there are blind-spots that you may not have spotted, maybe some phone coaching or instruction with a professional social coach can fix that. Otherwise, just find a friend or a wingman in your city who shares the same goals as yourself. If you know your sticking points, then FIX THAT FIRST, before even adding more “knowledge” to your repertoire. You don’t need 1,000 weapons to be in the field. An ultra-sharpened dagger is all you need. Its meeting women, gentlemen, not Dungeons and Dragons. Once you’ve fixed those, then you can explore new skill sets. I still remember telling an attendant in my famous Juggler Alumni Meet Speech to “get a life!” As harsh as that sounded, that was probably one of the most genuine things I could’ve said to the guy, because it was obvious that he needed to literally get a life first, and not patch his lack of personality with lines, techniques, and methods.

Key Belief #5:

“I will commit to getting sexual with (all) girls I interact with…”

 

Make sure that you put romantic spins to your personal stories. Flirt, get sexual, and as Wayne says, “be dangerous.”

First, you have to be okay with sexual topics. If not, then that’s your first sticking point. Is your conservative nature getting in the way? Then you must fix that first. If you can’t utter the statement…” I think your lips need some of that strawberry gloss over there… but I enjoy you so much I’d love to make out with you” Then it’s a belief/paradigm issue.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s look at the progression of escalation

For most guys, an interaction goes like this

Lets say

A = Open
B = Personal
C = Reward/Relate
D = SOI
E = Sexual Escalation

Some guys will think its A + B + C +D = E

Totally not the case all the time, and if you do fieldwork, you and I both know its all in calibration. Most of this pick up stuff is counterintuitive anyways.

If sexual escalation is your one problem, you should do any of these interactions

a) A + D + E
b) A + E
c) E + E + E + E

Go in, kino like mad, then make out. In fact, try to get physical with every girl you meet. There was a time when Timmy would try to kiss every attractive girl he’s met. That training has definitely paid off because he has that killer instinct. This will train you subconsciously for end game escalation, the type of escalation those guys who think they can talk their way to a girl’s pants don’t have.

Find environments where this can be done in a massive scale, such as a rave or dance club. You’ll later soon find out that a sexual connection is almost always as legit as a conversational connection because they both involve emotions and commitment. Do this enough and you’ll get a paradigm shift when all is said and done.

There you go boys. These mind sets have been tried and tested by myself, and by successful Charisma Artists in the field. Take what’s significant and apply these immediately in your life.

Troy