Approaching Is Easy If… Part II

By James

6. TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT. One of the biggest things that drags guys energy and self confidence down is trying to discuss things they don’t care about to impress women. This is setting you up as a needy individual from the word go, she will sense this. Our boot camps teach the skills to begin a conversation with strangers. It is a good idea to think about things you like to talk about with women. You might like to talk about your passion for deer hunting and your technique to behead the deer with your trusty hunting knife and the process to preserve the head so you can mount it above your fireplace. If that’s your idea of a hobby, then well um….er, I would suggest you don’t talk about it with a women you just met and would like to know better. Talk about “attractive women friendly” subjects that you are also into. Wayne (Juggler) has a list in his absolutely fantastic e-book which I trust you have all bought and read at least three times!

I suggest clients then come up with a couple of open ended questions on these subjects they enjoy. For instance I love travel. If I am talking to a 20 yo I might ask “Tell me about the place most want to travel too?” If the girl is 28, I am more likely to ask “Tell me about your favorite travel experience.” So when an interaction is hitting a flat spot I usually try to steer the conversation towards things I like to hear about. PLEASE NOTE how I said HEAR about. I want to get them to do the talking. Before guys had all these methods and techniques of meeting girls, I believe they just used to talk about things of mutual passion. It may be old school for the online generation, but it sure is my personal favourite.

7. IF YOU FIND HER DULL AND BORING, WALK AWAY, yes even if she is Miss Latvia in a Versace number made only of baby pins. A simple “have a good night” with a tap on the shoulder usually suffices for me. Notice I am as honest as possible, I’d never say “nice to meet you” if I did not mean it. Don’t give up straight away, I’ll usually try a couple of open ended questions about my favorite subjects, make statements and a vacuum or two. Ask “who’s she’s here with” and “how do you know each other” also.

Walking away does one major thing, it stops you getting needy, try hard energy from struggling away where you are not welcome and not progressing, other girls notice and can often sense it on you. If you leave on decent terms you might still win social proof brownie points for talking to her in the first place. Also, you if you leave on a good note, it is usually easy to come back, believe it or not! Remembering her name a massive help.

Walking away when things got dull has really worked in my favour once or twice. Go up and confidently talk to an obviously smoking hot girl, get the conversation to a level where you are welcome, do not project any sexual intent and then walk in five minutes because of boredom. I guess I am sort of saying to her:

“Well you do look really nice, but you seem rather dull and this conversation has become a tedious, I think I’ll go chat with someone else, bye”.

She’s perhaps thinking “where did he go?”,

“Wow this hasn’t happened to me since Year 9,”

“Where is that confident guy?”

“What did I do to turn him off? May be he didn’t like me? No,that is impossible, every guy on this planet, well the straight ones, would kill to be with me. Oh god was it my breath, I knew I should never have had garlic prawns,”

“I’ll have a chewie and go see if I can find him”

“And I’ll bring my super hot model girlfriend who I almost trust and she’s just started dating a rock star anyway, to try and make him think I know a lot of cool, beautiful people, I hope he likes me this time. He was soooooo handsome, I think?”

(Please don’t do this as some sort of contrived strategy, but remember if she is hot and dull, you are still allowed to walk away politely)

8. DON’T DO STUPID OR SOCIALLY AWKWARD APPROACHES which display your lack of consideration for other people and drag your own energy down.

I have heard many a story; guys reporting walking in off the street sitting down, without asking and interrupting two hot sisters, their little brother and their mother, with forks in there mouths at funky street side restaurant, to deliver a female opinion opener, or the guy wearing the flashing red necklace, an ill fitting shinny black polyester suit coat and some dopey loud T-shirt, who crosses the road and runs after the 5’11 beautiful girl dressed in a fine suit who is powering down the street, stuck to her phone, looking stressed. He catches up, taps her firmly on the back, frightening her as she spins around in shock, only to announce “You are…. so…. beautiful, I just could not allow myself to go on living if I let this moment go by without chasing you down to tell you this” or something equally nauseating. She is walking so fast because she is running LATE for an important client meeting in her new job. She is on the phone to her boss apologizing profusely; some mindless dork just stopped her in the street and asked directions to the nearest Starbucks. After she graciously stopped and took some of her now precious time to help this stranger, he joked he wasn’t interested in her answer, he was just “flirting with her” and called her a “bad girl, whose boyfriend is clearly not spanking her hard enough” and then asked for her phone number. Infuriated and stressed, she walked too far and missed her 3.30 train.

Could someone practicing or teaching this socially inept and retarded behavior have ever actually dated a single really beautiful woman in their lifetime? If they had, they would know that this sort of thing is NOT at all funny or flattering for girls like this in most cases. I guess paparazzi are fun for many new minor celebrities but ask a major A-list movie star, they are probably the bane of their existence.

Even if you are so selfish you don’t care about other people, I think these rude approaches leave guys with BAD FEMALE ENERGY and experiences. I don’t want start on my “too much time meditating in India spiritual theories”, but I think if you do a few of these really bad approaches you will start to exude a really weird, needy, freaky vibe that women can smell from twenty feet away.

As I have said before, most decent guys find their success and results come from good, not bad, social skills and friends and interests.

I know someone is reading this saying they did some sort of crazy approach and it worked. Well great, I am sure anything can work, particularly if you have and can maintain the right energy as I said above. When you say it worked, what do you mean, did you become intimate with her? Was she a positive addition to your life? I too have had some success with some socially silly or crazy things I have done at a super high level of energy, but please note it is usuallly at a point when I am getting plenty of the horizonal good stuff already, but I DO NOT recommend these crazy approaches as an effective way to build your social skillset.

Picture this; a beautiful girl, with a nice family and great successful friends, has recently found herself single. She goes for coffee with her best girlfriends/mother and father/big brother and talks about this guy she just met who is taking her out alone this Friday night.

“Wow, so where did you meet him? School, the gym, through friends, not another one from a bar I hope? You know guys you meet there don’t respect you darling”

“Oh, I was on my cell phone walking down 8th Street, he ran up from behind me, he startled me a little at first and then he told me that ‘I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in his life, and that he just had to chase me down to tell me this, or he knew he would regret it every day for the rest of his life’. So I gave him my number and he is picking me up, Friday at 8.00pm.

What do you think her friends and family will say to her?

I think when you are learning you should make EVERY single socially acceptable approach you can and ZERO socially unacceptable ones.

A Charisma Arts bootcamp will significantly increase your approaching and conversation skills and you will be better able to start and sustain more great interactions with people, and yes more hot girls. …