Listening
By Wayne Elise
Most of us listen so poorly to others because we don’t want to hear what they have to say. We want them to be different from who they truly are. We push them to be pawns of our desire so frantically we put words in their mouths:
“How you doing, alright?”
“Did you have a good time at the circus?”
“Oh, you work as a nurse. That’s a noble profession. You’re a good person.”
Those lines are bad. They are representative of our biases and our nervous need to push the conversation. We want a conversational partner so badly we can’t relax and wait for the truth. That’s not sexy. It also causes a disconnect from the other person. When we try to move the relationship forward he or she freaks out. “You don’t really know me. Why do you want to spend time with me alone? You are thinking I’m different than what I am. You are trying to force me to be other than what I am. You are intimating that I have led you on – that I am that person. Apparently I have deceived you or you have deceived yourself. I feel trapped but I guess a little more deception can’t hurt. I’ll just make up a lie to get out of this. I will flake on you. Tell you at the last minute that my cousin is in town and I have to show her around, yeah, that’s a good one. Goodbye.”
Sexy people are never bothered by hearing another person’s truth, good, bad or otherwise.
“How was your night?”
“Are you wanting to go right now? I don’t want to keep you.”
“I want to see you but you can say no.”
“Does that make sense or am I crazy? I might be crazy. There’s no shame in being crazy.”
Subtly, these [...]
Approaching and Meeting Women in the Airport
By Dan Tena
Hi, this is Dan from Charisma Arts. I want to tell you about something I found amazing that happened to me.
Recently I flew to Los Angeles to attend my first Conversation Camp with Wayne Elise, the man also known as Juggler. During the camp Wayne taught many of the things I learned from his ebook, the forum or my own boot camp. But mostly the camp focuses on pure conversation skills, such as using humor, leading a conversation, how to not run out of things to say, etc.
Anyhow, after the camp I made my way to the Los Angeles airport for the trip home to Denver. Little did I know what was in store for me that night.
Security was quick so I found myself with an hour to waste before boarding. I spotted a bar within sight of my gate and sitting on a stool I noticed a woman sitting at the bar and talking loudly on the telephone. Just my type, 5′ 7″, black hair and nice pencils. I walked up and sat down next to her. With two days of conversation instruction from Wayne (my vote for the worlds best conversationalist) I wasn’t about to drink alone.
She said into the phone, “I gotta go. I don’t want to irritate the people here.” She then clicked her phone shut, moved her carry-on bag and purse further away from me, and turned her back to stare out at God knows what.
I spoke up anyway, hopefully loud enough for her to know I was talking to her. I said, “You didn’t have to stop talking I can sit wherever.”
She turned around. “No problem. I’m sure everyone was tired of listening to my conversation with my mom anyway.”
“Yeah, I don’t know about you but I seem to gain two octaves when I [...]