dR’s Sexy List – How to Tell a Woman You Like Her

by dR

When I teach a bootcamp, I hammer my clients to do a proper Statement of Intent (SOI).  For those of you who aren’t up on the lingo, that is the point in the interaction when I tell a girl that I am attracted to her.

So when my clients do it, I don’t want them to be like Tiger Woods – I don’t want them to stare at the ball, grasp the club between palms with beading sweat, their hair slick with anxiety and their brow furrowed in concentration.

Hell no, she will think you are holding a big old fart inside if you act so serious.

I want my clients to have FUN!  I want them to be like Michael Jordan jumping up to slam the ball into the basket.  It should look EASY.  It should look NATURAL.  It should look like you’re having FUN when you do it.

So lets talk about how to make that happen.

Day game or Night game, most of my pick ups last 30 – 45 min from when I first start talking to her to when I get her number or we leave together.  I try to wait no later than 20-25 min into the interaction to give my first SOI.
NOTE: this is NOT a definite rule, but mostly a trend of my closes.  Well, I mean, sometimes it’s hard, but that’s usually because she is biting my ears.

Anyway, back to talking about rules.

The 3 Vibe States of Charisma Arts Escalation are:

1) PLATONIC

2) PERSONAL and

3) SEXUAL
Once you have cleared her logistics (stuff like: is she there with her boyfriend?, how does she know everyone in her group?, will her friends call her a slut if she hangs out with me?) it’s time to escalate to SEXUAL.

The SOI declares to the girl that : I SEXY You!

But WAIT!  Before you start talking like Borat, read the next paragraph so that you don’t mess it up when you’re so close to winning the game.

Tell her: “I find you sexy.”

That’s step one.  Time to make it better.  Add a reason why you find her sexy.  The hotter she is, the more the reason should have something to do with her personality instead of her butt.  I’m telling you to do it this way so you seem more genuine than every other guy that says “You are so HOT!  Baby, take me wit ‘chu.”

But don’t get me wrong, fellas.

You are a Hungry Wolf with fangs that shear through the Three Little Bears.  You have desires and intent that only this cute cuddly sexy sheep can fulfill.  Yeah you do.

The SOI ends the PERSONAL Vibe state and begins the SEXUAL Vibe state. The screenwriting analogy i like to use is, the SOI ends Act II and begins Act III of your “Story”.

BUT…

Time and time again, I’ve seen my guys carry on PLATONIC conversations, that lead NO WHERE because these guys are not letting their INTENT be known.  BE honest with your intent, guys.  Tell her that you like her because she makes you smile and that’s important because you don’t meet a lot of girls who are able to do that.

I gotta NIP that sucker right in the butt when i see that happen on a bootcamp.

Getting off my SoapBox

I want to let you in on a nugget of dR gold that helped me deliver not only more SOIs, but deliver them with CONFIDENCE.  You ready?
Seriously, I can stop here and go make a sandwich? I’m up to my eyeballs in video editing work, I can stop.
Ok, if you’re still around then lets get to my SEXY LIST:
I sat down and wrote down all the wonderful and unique non-physical qualities that i find attractive/sexy about girls. The list changes from time to time but here are some of my top items.

HUMOR: if she can make me laugh as much as i make her chuckle.
GENEROSITY: if she thinks of others before her self.
INTELLIGENCE: if she is smrter, i mean smarter than me.  (Insert Homer Simpson joke here.)
ARTISTIC: if she creates some sort of art.  Hell, finger painting is sexy.  I’ll be her canvass and she can rub me all over until I look like a rainbow.  A pot of gold is what I’m talking about, gentlemen.
ATHLETIC: if she plays any sports or keeps herself active some way.

How this helps me with my SOIs is this: going into the interaction I already have an idea of what I’m looking for in a girl; and once I find it, I will SOI right on the SPOT, even if I’m only 5 minutes into the conversation.

Why waste the opportunity to give a MINI-SOI (I like that about you) when I can give a big o’l juicy Carl’s Jr. SOI.
(damn i really want that sandwich now)

The best part is, the SOI will be JUSTIFIED and CONFIDENT, because:

A) The quality is based on effort she has relieved to you and

2) Its genuine/confident to qualities you find attractive in girls.

Now its just a matter of following Wayne’s handy, dandy two-step process to proper escalation: the WHY and the WHAT.
The WHY is the SOI and the WHAT is your INTENT. So do what ever the heck you want to do with her. Search your inner Wolf beast and be greedy and let her know, both VERBALLY and PHYSICALLY.  That means you have to get comfortable getting a little physical but we can talk about that sometime later.  I’ve got sandwiches to make and videos to edit.

Well thats all i have for today. Go out and make YOUR SEXY LIST and trust me, your SOIs will have confidence, vigor, and you will deliver them with EASE.  You will be a sexy Michael Jordan of pick up and one day have your own signature sneakers.  You will be the new face of Wheaties.  Michael Phelps who?   Forget him.  You are the breakfast of champions.  You are the SEXY wolf that eats the Sheep!

Be Awesome,

dR

About the author: dR is a Los Angeles-based Charisma Arts Instructor who specializes in making this stuff FUN.  He’s also a huge Dallas Cowboys fan and will move Heaven and Earth to see them play.  When he’s not living the life, dR works as a video editor and makes cameos in Charisma Arts’ own video collection.