By GK

It’s summer in my hemisphere, and somewhere the sun is shining, birds are singing and women are walking around in short skirts. But don’t you dare talk to them, unless it’s an accident.  “Excuse me, ma’am, you dropped your poodle.  Well, see ya… have a nice day!”

Only at night are you allowed to go out and meet women.  If you meet a woman between noon and 6PM you will be smote down from thunder on high.  They’re not my rules so don’t blame me.  That’s what it says in the Bible.

Ok, you got me.  I made that up to keep all the girls for myself.  The truth is, you will not be divinely persecuted if you plan on chatting up a girl during the day.

I’ll tell you something about guys who get girls during the day: they go out looking for women.  Guys who consistently meet women on their lunch break sometimes go out of their way to make it happen.  They make a point of not always following the rules of social engagement during the day.

What are those rules?
1.    Focus on getting chores or shopping done.
2.    Don’t talk to strangers.
3.    Especially not the cute blonde in the produce aisle.
4.    Walk home.
5.    Open a bag of Doritos.
6.    And play Grand Theft Auto IV.

Because after all, that’s normal.

Who came up with these rules?

Dracula?

I’ve had the pasty skin to prove that I once avoided talking to girls outside the club. And even though I no longer do, I can understand a guy’s concerns about it. Many guys feel too awkward or busy to punch “12:00 – 13:00: Lunch. 13:00 – 14:00: Pick up groceries. 14:00 - 15:00: Pick up chicks.” into their Blackberries.

Don’t get me wrong.  Meeting women during the day doesn’t have to be an accident. Nor does it have to be forced. I feel no qualms about leaving my house for a couple of hours with meeting women as a priority. The key is that I’ve learned how to make it fun and congruent with the rest of my life.

Here are some tips:

Do what you enjoy: This is my first tip for a reason - it’s also the most important. Some guys approach talking to girls as if they’re punching a clock at work - I’m not one of them. The minute I stop having fun is the minute I go home.

It helps for me to socialize at places I actually like. For instance, I hate the gym, and I want to get out of there as quickly as possible after bulking up my 150-pound frame. So I don’t meet people there.

Where do I go? My first choice is any kind of open-air shopping area because I love the sunshine, cafes and people-watching. I have to drive 20 minutes to the closest one near me, which may be why I’m so passionate about this subject. Meeting people during the day is worth that effort to me.

As I’m walking from the coffee shop to the bookstore to the clothing store, I can’t help but notice cute girls to talk to. And since I knew I wanted to socialize when I left my house, my vibe is more upbeat and it’s easier for me to strike up a conversation with them.

You might enjoy this kind of environment, too. You might prefer daytime concerts, or a walk at the beach. Even on your lunch break, you might want to hit your favorite coffee shop. Wherever you’re comfortable, I’m willing to bet there are women around. Just put yourself there, know your daytime logistics, which I’ll cover in our upcoming ebook, and good things will happen.

Appreciate your surroundings: At night, I call this “making love to the room.” If all I’m doing is looking inward, walking around with approach anxiety and trying to think of what to say to a woman, I’m going to psyche myself right out of the place.

Conversational topics, much like The Force, are all around me. I just need to notice them. I got better at this just by walking around the Middle East for a few weeks. I wasn’t allowed to approach women on the street there, lest I risk losing my fingers, toes or little GK. So I just looked around at the insane drivers, the tall minarets and people playing backgammon, and I imagined what I would tell a stranger next to me.

When I shot my how-to-get-an-instant-date video, I was looking for a girl to meet. But I was also enjoying a new shopping area that had popped up, and I had a chance to share it with someone new while getting to know her as a person. It was a win-win scenario.

When I see a woman primping her hair as she leaves a salon, I’ll ask how her haircut was. When I see a model doing a photo shoot near me, I grab my camera phone and join in until the photographer shoos me away. I’ll be a tourist in my own city sometimes, and ask a woman for directions to someplace new, then get to know her. But you don’t have to be in an exotic or scenic place to appreciate its unique aspects. Just pay attention and think out loud.

Don’t apologize, just commit: The way I see it, guys aren’t committing enough to meeting women during the day. They lie to themselves about their intentions, and this conflict shows up when they want to approach someone. I see nothing wrong with “just being social,” but if you know you want to meet more than old ladies at the grocery store, I think you should have a more specific goal.

It’s perfectly OK to walk up to an attractive woman in broad daylight and tell her she seems interesting and that you want to get to know her. In fact, that’s sometimes what I say. This is honesty, and when done with a confident vibe, it’s endearing. Will she suspect me of being a player? Maybe, but I am sometimes and I get the same suspicions at night so no hard feelings. I deal with it the same way: by expressing my unique self, getting to know her unique self and disqualifying when necessary.

Bring a friend: Although I prefer approaching women alone (it makes me less threatening), no one said this has to be a solo endeavor. Go shopping with a friend and talk to cute girls along the way. If it’s a guy friend, help him get a store employee’s number, as I’ve done. I take a point guard’s approach to this — I love assists.

Also, in areas like mine, there are myriad groups that plan daytime social outings. Cute girls attend these outings. Think of one you’d enjoy, whether it’s hiking or picnicking, and go. I’ve been invited to house parties, which introduced me to more women, just by attending some of these.

Some Final Thoughts:

• Don’t use a dog as a crutch to help you meet women. I’ve learned this the hard way. The women who’ll stop you are interested in your dog, not you. Bring the dog, but get a personal connection going with her as quickly as possible.

• Gather logistics quickly. I know I said I’d cover this in detail in the new ebook, but here’s a preview.  In the day this is even more crucial. How much time does she have? Is her boyfriend around? Where can I lead her for an instant date?

• Go to the mall midweek during the day to meet employees. They’re usually bored around this time, and once I can get past the sales pitch and give an SOI, I can have a good conversation going.

• Don’t be too smooth. This is usually not a problem for me.  My seduction style is like rubbing sandpaper on a balloon - three strokes and it pops.  That sounds more sexual than I meant.  Anyway, being a little nervous and looking a little unpolished is actually a bonus during the day. So don’t sweat it if you haven’t shaved.

• Be a loudmouth during the approach. This is especially true if she’s distracted by a text message or her iPod. I think I’m more interesting than the 22nd replay of a Jack Johnson song, so I don’t mind projecting my voice until she takes her ear buds out.

If you want some help that’s more tailored to your situation, and some real-life demonstrations and feedback, then that’s where we at Charisma Arts come in. Drop me a line at GK@charismaarts.com, and I can help you enhance your daytime social life, and get a tan at the same time.

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