Hide and Seek
People like to hide from one another. They may have grown out of hide and seek, but they still unintentionally try and conceal their real selves in their interactions. This is because people are afraid of being intimate with one another; yet it is exactly this intimacy that everyone craves. Want to make a connection with someone? Then you need to learn how to seek out their true selves in your conversations. Time: We are not the same person that we were 5 years ago, 5 weeks ago or 5 hours ago. What is interesting in an interaction is what is happening between two people in that moment. To have a highly charged interaction both people need to be invested in that moment and be reacting to one another. To avoid this people often talk about what their lives were like years ago. They are hiding their feelings of the present by talking about a time that has passed. Swapping anecdotes of your first day at school can be fun, but bring the interaction back to the present. Talk about how you feel in that moment, and if they don’t follow suit, be direct and ask “How does that affect you now?” This will engage them to start thinking in the present, and telling you something that is relevant to them that day. Tense: An exciting interaction is one that is focused on what the people think, feel and plan to do in the present. It’s the difference between relating old dates, speculating about ones you might get in the future, or having a great date then and there. Always think about how what the person is saying relates back to them in the present. If you don’t you’ll only ever grasp the image they choose to present of themselves [...]
Mr. Darcy Game
Mr. Darcy is a famous literary character. He is also a world famous lover. He doesn’t just get any girl, but he gets the girl he wants. Getting what you want and not just what you can get is fundamental to our philosophy at Charisma Arts, and I’m going to use Mr. Darcy’s dashing example to explain how you can achieve this too. For about 200 hundred years Darcy’s been making women go weak at the knees, and making all other male attempts at seduction look bad. You may not be into Georgian Romance novels but we can all learn a few tricks to success, and mistakes, from what he did. He may have screwed up a few times (don’t we all) in his journey to getting the girl of his dreams, but he did it with so much style that he’s been a hero of romance ever since. His unique ‘Darcy’ seduction style even rivals that of our own Wayne Elise… To save you reading all 400 exciting pages of ‘Pride and Prejudice’, I’m going to have a go at condensing Darcy Theory into a few key principles… and make them relevant to helping you overcome your dating dilemmas. Darcy’s Mistakes: How not to introduce yourself to the girl: Even if you’re not a dashing, loaded, member of the landed gentry and likely to make everyone around you feel inadequate, an insult as a way to open a conversation can still go badly wrong. When asked if he would like to dance with his ‘target’ Darcy says ‘she is not handsome enough to tempt me’, just loud enough so that she could hear. That’s a pretty big insult in the Regency period. Insulting your target didn’t work 200 hundred years ago for Darcy (all the women in the novel [...]