Write your meeting/dating/conversations with hot strangers here and I will shine them up.
'You girls are crazy!'
For a limited time. I want to help direct you. Swallow your ego and write about your mistakes. What happened on your meets/dates/interactions with the opposite sex that went wrong. Post it in the comments section below and I will give you some ‘Wayne’ ideas to try next time. Let the fun begin.
Hey Wayne,
So, I was out shopping for a Christmas gift for my sister. I went into a home decor store known as kirklands which has a lot of the mushy wall stuff my sister enjoys and old school paintings and what not. I found two seperate gift ideas for my sister. 1. Leopard Print Bath Robe 2. 2 Wall “word” (faith, love) and stackable coffee mugs on stainless steel rack.
Being unable to decide between the two I turn around to look for an associate for an opion when I see a 2set right around my age (18) wondering the store. At first I was fairly surprised to see anyone under the age of like 25 in there. Then I remember where *I* was. haha… So, I figured, “what the hell”.
I walked directly up to the girl and opened with this.
Me – Excuse me miss, I’m in a bit of a dilemma and need a female opinion.
Her- Yeah, sure.
Me – Ok, so…(i explained my situation like i did to you with a nice smile on my face and a charming look in my eye…keep in mind I had just got off work so I was dressed for success and looking even better than normal…which I ams ure helped)
…. So, if you were a 23yo female with tattoos, platinum blonder hair with red and blue tips on the side, living in your own apartment, like crazy clothes and love coffee which gift would you rather have?
Her – Well, does he already have a bath robe, does she actually make her own coffee or just drink it? would the stuff match her apartment?
Me – Yeah, but I don’t think she really uses it. She makes her own coffee yes and yes the coffee mugs and the words match her apartment.
Her- Then I would go with the mugs and words. It’s more of a brotherly gift.
Me- Ok. I’m going to take your advice. But what happens if she doesn’t like.
(Said this with a wink)
Her- (laughs)Well, then I don’t know. I guess she just won’t like it.
Me- I’ll make sure to tell her it’s your fault.
(This is where I screwed up and instead of taking it even farther personal and then on to sexual level I just ended it. I think I got kind of nervous…which shouldn’t of happened because I had got past that in the first place)
Her- (Laughs) Ok! do that it will be pretty funny!
(This wasn’t a closing statement so I knew she was willing to keep talking and her friend was on the other side of the store so no problem)
Me- Ok well thanks. I’m going to take your advice and hope it works out for me.
I went on to pay. She continued to linger right around my area even when I heard her friend ask if she was ready to go. I knew I should of went and talked to her again but I didn’t and then by the time i was done she had left….
Where could I have stepped it up or done better?
Thanks and sorry for being long winded,
Jared K.
I often try to lead conversations to the topics of travel, being adventurous, exploring new countries…
When a girl tells about a trip she took, say, to Scotland… “I went there with a friend and we loved it. I’m going back in the summer!”
Whether or not I have also been to the same country (in this case, I have been to the same place) what is the best way to vibe, or transition and lead the conversation into deeper rapport?
I don’t necessarily want to just agree with her, “Ahh, I went there too! I loved the blood pudding!”
Do I say something teasingly like, “Oh God, I have to go with you to be your tour guide, so I can show you such and such….” and create a future projection?
How do you escalate the conversation when you’re talking about travel adventures? What kind of shared travel emotions do you shoot for that trigger the best sparks?
Thanks Wayne!! I think I love you.
Will
I had an interesting interaction yesterday, and since I believe you’re one of the best when it comes to conversation and rapport, I thought I’d ask you about it.
This interaction happened last night, as I was winging my buddy. I spoke to an Asian girl, but even though she was open to conversation, I don’t think I steered the conversation correctly. It felt uncomfortable and not fun, and I don’t know why, so I’d like you to read it and tell me your comments. For one, thing, I now my vibe was off, I wasn’t smiling much, nor very relaxed.
Here are the different bits I remember:
Her: So where are you from, Pete?
Pete: Take a guess.
Her: Italy.
Pete: No.
Her: Mexico.
Pete: Actually, Colombia.
Her: Ohhh, mucho gusto. (nice to meet you)
Pete: You know, I love Colombia. In my neighbourhood, people didn’t lock their doors, and all Colombian people care about is dancing and having fun.
Her: But it’s dangerous, and then there are also drugs.
Pete: Oh my god, lovely stereotype. (and I turned my back to her for a second)
———
Pete: You look like you studied psychology.
Her: Yes, I majored in psychology, but now I’m in business school.
Pete: I’m fascinated by psychology.
Her: Well, a lot of it is bullshit.
(Then we talked about our different perspectives of psychology- boring)
———
———–
Pete: So what are your passions?
Her: Travelling.
Pete: Interesting, there is a question I love asking anyone I meet: What’s the most amazing place you’re ever been to?
Her: Depends. If we’re talking about nature and beautiful sights, Galápagos Island, if it’s about a laidback culture, Spain.
Pete: I like cities, but I’m more amazed by the beauty of nature. I once hiked to a natural reserve back home in Colombia, a lake surrounded by and untouched forrest… It’s one of the coolest feeling I’ve had, it was silent and calm.
(the thread died here)
———-
Pete: I like the feeling of peacefulness I get when I meditate, I’m sure you have an activity that absorbs you and makes you forget about everything else?
Her: T.V.
Pete: Really, I don’t love T.V. that much… what’s your favorite show?
Her: Gossip Girl
Pete: You’re fucking with me.
Her: Noooo, I love it.
After this, I turned to her friend and asked how she could hang out with a girl like that. She burst laughing, and admitted that she also had some things that were embarrasing. I loved this thing, so I told her I secretly dance to ——- with my niece, and she said she loved me for that, and confessed about her secret dances too, and how she loved the show “The Bachelor”. We laughed and after 3 minutes were hugging and laughing. The connection was amazing, way different than the one with her friend.
So I’m sort of baffled about the first interaction, because it felt uncommonly tense and boring. I’m curious about what happened, it’s the first time I get have to stand such an uncomfortable conversation. Please feel free to critique as much as you like, I really want to improve my conversational skills, and I’d appreciate your sharing your knowledge.
I know you’re busy, man, sorry for the long e-mail. Please reply at your convenience.
Thanks for your helping us improve our lives.
Pete G.
Thanks a lot for your feedback to my post of 13th November, Wayne, brother
After reading that, would anyone still want to uphold that philosophy is dry and all theory gray?
I did ENJOY your reply so much, I remember when I went out for lunch from work I must have been glowing internally, I had 2 beautiful woman approach me.
The first just looked at me, we were waiting for an elevator, I looked back, smiled, she kept looking, smiled back. Neither one said anything. She kept looking. We exchanged a few words in the elevator, and before she got out she gave me her card
Right after that, the second one was sitting on a couch next to me. She had some of the most amazing eyes I have seen, like shining steel, but warm steel, and she kept looking at me and smiling.
Weird day.
Anyway, you amaze me, I come for your advice on conversations, and you teach me a philosophy lecture on top
Hope we can sip some more wine one day!
The day before Thanksgiving, I was at a bar and I saw a cutie sitting alone at a table, on a long bench. I scooted in next to her and waited for her to notice me. She didn’t, so I put my hand out and said hi.
- Hi.
- I thought I’d come over and say hi. I’m Grasshopper.
- I’m Meredith.
- Nice to meet you, Meredith! So how’s your evening going so far?
- Good, you?
- It’s OK. I’ve been hanging out with my freind Roger and it’s actually been kind of dead the places we’ve gone. I’ve never seen the city so quiet. I guess everyone’s away for the holidays.
- Yeah, I guess so.
- I feel kind of bummed seeing the city so quiet, it seems kind of sad.
- But that’s just the way the holidays are.
- True. So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
- Going to a friend’s place. You?
- Going to a friend’s place too. I was going to go home, but I forgot that my family decided to celebrate Thanksgiving a week early, so I actually missed it.
- Oh, that’s sad.
- It is sad! I’m bummed. There’s an uncle I really like and I was looking forward to seeing him. But it’s OK, I think I’m going to see him over Christmas.
- Oh, that’s nice.
- Yeah.
- Well, have a happy Thanksgiving! (At this point is was obvious she was hinting for me to leave.)
- Oh! Yeah. OK. Yeah, you too. Happy Thanksgiving. It was nice meeting you.
- You too.
Hey, I’m in high school at the moment, but would like some tips. Obviously high school game isn’t the same as the game you teach Juggler. I would like some help on what I should do now though to set myself up for success in the future. Another question, how long do you (Juggler/Wayne) plan on teaching bootcamps? (Hopefully until I reach the age necessary to go to bars) =)
Hey Wayne,
This is pretty cool. I was wondering about email game. I was thinking of hitting up this one girl at school with this email about a week after I last saw her:
“”"”"
Hey X! Hows it going? I havent talked to you in a while and just wanted to drop you a line. Finals suck and I havent seen you in a bit. I hope your not going crazy because thats bad.. talk to you soon..
“”"”"
or should I just go for the kill and ask her out via email? If so, how can it be done?
Thanks man,
Dare2
Hey Wayne,
First of all, thanks for all of your help! I can honestly say that your insights have changed my life for the better!
Ive been working on email game in the forums with Wandering Sumo and was hoping that you could comment!
In short, Im a student and shes a student, Ive SOIed before and exams and the holidays are coming up so I thought it best to stay in touch with this girl through email. I was thinking of sending her an email after about a week from my last interaction with her as follows:
“”"”"
hey X! I wanted to see how you are doing since I havent spoken with you substantially in a while. Ive really enjoyed talking with you and ideally Id like to sit down with you sometime and have a nice face to face but I know how finals go. Its that lovely time of year again!
Anyways, how was studying and do you feel prepared? Are you still on that strange sleep schedule? Do you need to take sleeping pills? haha!
I finally got a table in my apartment to study on so Ive been pretty excited to crack open my books. Its funny because Ive never done work in my place all year and never really had a table to put books on to study from. I suppose that desperate times call for desperate measures!
Anyways, I hope things are well! ttyl..
-Dare2
“”"”
I was hoping that you could give me your comments on the 1 week timing and the email itself. Also, I’d be very grateful if you could work with me on wording.
Thanks!
Dare2
Hi Xavier,
During the day it is smart to show interest sooner rather than later. There should be a personal escalation and then get logistics and then instant date or SOI depending on the situation. You are still hitting the steps, speaking in ‘I’ statements and making your questions more open-ended. But day game has to be progressed fast. People just will not hang out in a super market and have a conversation for very long. Come out and meet me sometime and I will show you in person what I am talking about. It is a difficult thing to describe in text.
Surely going in for the kill, makes the whole method pointless, as your just being direct (which I’m fond of, but attempt to use CA’s teaching to get round this habit as I’m getting older and it doesn’t work as well anymore).
There’s no escalation here, with what and whys, OEQs, I statements and all the rest of the stuff were told to do. What’s the point of all of that if were being recommended to just open, find if she’s single and close. I’ve being doing that for years in clubs and bars but it goes no where really.
lol=laugh out loud
Sorry, It just hit me that an example interaction would be useful.
This happened awhile back while the girl was at my house and we were looking at pictures of her on my computer. This isn’t the first interaction we’ve ever had.
Me: Wow, you must enjoy taking photos of yourself. I’ve only got like 5 and half of them are me in the middle of looking away from the camera. I hate it when people take pictures of me.
Kitty: *laughs* I’m gonna take a picture of you when your not looking.
Me: I store the people who’ve taken pictures of me in there *point to my closet* Most of them are dead.
Kitty: You wouldn’t do that to a cute little girl.
Me: Your right, I wouldn’t. *I hug her and give her a noogie* =P
The playful kino goes on and she ends up going to get a drink after. I tell her to grab me one to.
Me: Holy ****! No matter how cute you try to look, your cleavage still shows. (this is the arrogance and ballsyness i was talking about) *I’m looking at the pictures*
Kitty: *laughs*
Me: Come here. *I pull the neck of her shirt up over her boobs, of course i avoid making THAT much contact haha*
Kitty: Hey! *she backs away*
Me: *I turn my back to her and sit back down*
I return negativity with not paying attention or just acknowledging it and not reacting. Either way, I don’t react. I’ve found when i react negatively she does, then i do, then she does. It escalates and then it explodes. I found that not reacting is the best approach (but i dont reward it with attention, such as staying and talking to her)
Kitty: You shouldn’t touch girls there.
Me: *I totally ignore this comment* Look at this. *She comes over to look at the computer*
Me: Don’t you see a problem with all these pictures?
Kitty: No.
Me: Your wearing clothes in all of them! You need some naked pictures. (more arrogance)
Kitty: *laughs* that would be illegal.
Me: Well, I think every girl needs naked pictures. They’d look better.
They rest of the day was spent getting some food, then going back and her leaving on her bike.
The next interaction was done on the computer. It’s harder to say a lot, but I take the chance to use text such as “Zach hugs soandso” This isn’t as forward as it is in real life and the girl is more open to it. After framing myself as a touchy guy online (normally right after I meet the girl, like the same day I’ll chat online with her) Then when I meet her in person I actually go for the kino and she isn’t as shocked. Anyhow, on to the next conversation (this is talking online). Its a bit long and kinda immature (i try to stand out from the crowd, cause no one wants to date the average joe the plumber)
me: ur b day is on halloween?
??
helenweidemann: YEAH!
me: that is so cool
mines august 15th
which isnt a holiday
6:23 PM helenweidemann: lol
me: BUT IT SHOUDL BE
i mean
helenweidemann: Zach is awesome day
me: i was born on that day
and they celebrate b days like jesuses
so y not zach?
helenweidemann: loll
Because ur not as awesome
6:24 PM me: ouch
wiat
i mean
ouch
jeez
meany
ha!
die
6:25 PM helenweidemann: lol
pshh
Well I’m poking u with a cane
me: a candy cane?
those taste good
helenweidemann: no
the one made of metal
6:26 PM xP
or a metal rod!
ha
6:29 PM me: I have a metal rod
6:30 PM helenweidemann: me too
me: i have a bigger one
helenweidemann: no I do!Well anyways ur not strong enough to lift up ur rod
6:31 PM me: thats what she said
helenweidemann: O.o what?
me: what?
u dont know?
wait
he said she said?
6:32 PM ever heard of it?
helenweidemann: nope
me: wwwoooowwwww
well
anyways
its basically
helenweidemann: u should talk to Surya ur making him feel lonely
loll
me: HUH?!
helenweidemann: He says he’s saying stuff to u
and ur not answering
but ohw ell
wait
me: oh
helenweidemann: basically what?
me: u have his email
helenweidemann: mmhm
6:33 PM Do u not want to talk to him?
me: no
wait
where do u live?
helenweidemann: Palo Alto
me: more specific
helenweidemann: YOU HAVE A BROTHER?
Midtown
me: oh
damn
nvrm
yeahelenweidemann: why?
me: didnt u know?
6:34 PM helenweidemann: -.- no
How old is ur brother?
me: five kilometers
helenweidemann: O.o what?
me: wait
no
i mean yes
6:35 PM lucas in thr group chat is my bro
6:36 PM helenweidemann: wait how old is he?
That is Julia Sun
me: like 10
helenweidemann: tinkatu
really?
How u know Julia?
6:37 PM to u hate ur bro?
6:38 PM me: not really
helenweidemann: dam Can I be mean to him
?
6:42 PM xP
6:44 PM me: he
ok
6:45 PM this is what i mean by hyper
just watch the group chat
helenweidemann: lol I seeme: u can come back
surya left
6:57 PM helenweidemann: lol
7:02 PM me: palo alto
midtown
helenweidemann: lol
7:03 PM how I look like in person?
me: facebook
helenweidemann: other then that
7:04 PM me: umm no
lol
cousins son
helenweidemann: yeah
well
me: lol
haha
how old is he?
helenweidemann: I will met u then I can invite u
18….
me: HAHA
helenweidemann: teehee
BUT HE’S SMOKING!
7:05 PM me: sexy…
now i think hes hot
helenweidemann: lolll
Okay
so when shall I met u?
me: gunn
probabaly
or ill stalk u dow
7:06 PM down
=)
helenweidemann: but wait
if it’s at gunn
then I can’t invite u:o
until then!
me: u planned that
cheater…
meanie…
helenweidemann: what?
how??
7:08 PM me: u planned it all out
actually u didnt
nvrn
i still like u
hugs
7:09 PM falls alsleep
7:11 PM helenweidemann: aww
me: taps fingers
helenweidemann: u fall asleep so early
wait what did I plan out?
me: cant tell u
helenweidemann: noo
HOw
>o
7:25 PM Why am I hugging u
oh wait that’s right I felt bad for u
me: lol
7:26 PM no
u just hug me cause u like me =)
helenweidemann: uhh okay..
lol
me: pft
7:27 PM helenweidemann: Sure..
me: ha
helenweidemann: yepppp
7:28 PM Sooo
how’s it going
me: good
helenweidemann: I met u on the street lolll
^^
sry
I felt like telling ppl that
7:29 PM xP
soo
when we gonna met
I have ur donut!
me: lol
7:30 PM its gona be all black amd mushy by the time we meet
helenweidemann: wait when’s ur birthdya?
nah were gonna met uhh this sunday!maybe,,
7:31 PM me: lol
helenweidemann: wait when’s ur bday??
me: secret
7:32 PM helenweidemann: August 15th
7:33 PM me: dang it
7:34 PM u actually scrolled up?
helenweidemann: No
lol
me: oh
psychic…
7:35 PM helenweidemann: yepp
me: ahh
7:36 PM what am i thinking of?
helenweidemann: How awesome I am and how much u adore me
:]
7:37 PM me: close
but not quite
helenweidemann: what u thinking of?
me: nothing actually
helenweidemann: psh
7:38 PM no u were thinking I wonder what Helen is gonna say ..
7:39 PM me: na
oh
helenweidemann: oll
me: how sexy am i on a scale of 1-10?
7:41 PM 50 ppl wow
helenweidemann: seriously
me: u talk with a lot of guys =P
helenweidemann: and girls..
lol
7:42 PM uhh
umm
um
uhwaur
7:43 PM me: 1-10how sexy am i?
helenweidemann: um
uhh
um
uh
me: taps fingers
20
7:44 PM helenweidemann: 8.932198479175293
me: aww
just 8?
helenweidemann: okay
fine
9?
me: 20
7:45 PM helenweidemann: 20??
me: or 30
20 30 or die
ok
30 40 or die
helenweidemann: die
wait
no
ur so ugly I will die
me: takes out
helenweidemann: jk jk
me: takes out knife
helenweidemann: aw man
Okay 15
7:47 PM me: WHAT?!
30
or 40
u misspelled sarcasticallyhelenweidemann: shuddup
-.-
me: ok
7:48 PM no
!
maybe if u give a 50
helenweidemann: Whatt
ur 15 out of 10
7:49 PM me: no
50
meebo
what is that?
sounds like mee poo
7:50 PM helenweidemann: Connects aim gmail msn together
me: wow
so its liek virtual duct tape
helenweidemann: and it’s like aim
me: oh…
ok
7:51 PM u on a scale of 1 – 10
can be……………………….
lemme see….
uh
u can be
13
helenweidemann: lol only??
7:52 PM me: u can be sexy
but not AS sexy as me
helenweidemann: Zach I am soo much sexier then u!
7:53 PM me: no u arent
helenweidemann: Yeah I am
me: boobs are pretty sexy
but i might up with my iron ass
*make up
helenweidemann: lol
nahme: pft
u havent even seen it
7:56 PM helenweidemann: U haven’t seen moi either
I’m to awesome!
7:58 PM me: ur butt cant be that great
helenweidemann: It’s sexier then urs
:]
8:01 PM me: its like a blob
helenweidemann: O>o
me: while mine is like a rounded ball of iron
=P
8:02 PM helenweidemann: Mine is awesome
Ur’s is ugly
man
I’m like a google out of ten while ur like a hundred out of ten
8:04 PM me: and thats y i like u hugs
helenweidemann: :]
yay
hug
I like ur hugs to just there not as awesome as mine ^^
8:06 PM me: stops hugging helen
8:07 PM helenweidemann:
:’(
okay fine ur hugs ment more
they were awesome
that’s why I’m so sad to lose the hugs
(hmm)
8:08 PM me: say ur sorry
sorry zachey that i ever insulted ur glamourous butt and ur hugs
helenweidemann: I’m sorry Zach a :-* on the cheek it’s all good right??
I’m sorry I insulted ur hugs
but not the
butt
8:09 PM me: pokes helenwhich cheek do u kiss me on?
helenweidemann: the better one
8:10 PM right cheek
that better be the one with no acne
me: i dont have acne
helenweidemann: That’s a relief
anything messed up with ur cheek??
me: but what i was talking about was
my butt cheek
or my facial
8:11 PM =P
lol
helenweidemann: WHAT THE
FACE
duh
eww
that nut shape butt heck no
me: zach 1 – helen 0
u said eww
helenweidemann: dam
no
it’s
2-1
me: u got one?!
8:12 PM helenweidemann: yheah!!1
u just said it
wait
2-2teehee
^^
so counts
:]
8:13 PM me: uhg
cheater
helenweidemann: it’s nto cheating
me: hugs
and u misspelled not
helenweidemann: hugs back
shush
me: NTO NTO
helen did an oopseys
helenweidemann: wiat so what can one not say?
8:14 PM me: wuddya mean?
helenweidemann: what do I say to get points?
for u to get points?
me: im not falling for this
>.<
helenweidemann: Dam
wait but what are the words
8:15 PM t o
t-o
this dont’ count
revise the rules
me: ok
OFFICIAL TIMEOUT
(only i can do that)
helenweidemann: psh
non!
me: and its eww
and disgusting
sick
It goes on
I dont expect any of you to read the entire thing, but it give you an idea of what I do. I would appreciate some tips and advice on this.