‘Who's the hottest boyfriend?’
‘Get some man know how- get clued up on the ten things we wish we’d known earlier about men’
‘Sex to make him fall in love’
‘My boyfriend left me for a man’
'Never get dumped!’
No Charisma Arts hasn’t suddenly become a women's magazine.
But if you've been stuck for what to say to a girl, or how to make your conversations interesting, then you too need to start thinking about what girls love reading and talking about.
The quotes above are all recent tag lines from best selling women's magazines. They tell us what women are interested in, which can help you understand how to make your conversations with them more exciting, and engaging.
Take a guy’s magazine. It’s probably logically divided up, or specializes in, topics like boobs, cars or gadgets.
Girls aren’t generally into those things. This is probably one of the reasons why interview style questions about ‘things’ tend to bomb. Even the most exciting ‘things’ like entertainment, travel and ipads can wind up being conversational non-starters if they don’t connect with what women love talking about which is sex, relationships, love and feelings.
Yep. Definitely out of conversational safe ground with these ones.... but did you honestly think that when you catch a pair of girls in deep discussion it's about shoes? Really?
It's good to be out of conversational safe-territory. Having a conversation with a girl about the key subjects of love and sex, is filled with a lot more opportunities to move your interaction with her forward, compared with when you're talking about footwear or PCs. Being able to move the conversation onto relationships is also itself an escalation; especially when compared with the ‘safer’ interview subjects of what job she does and all that other stuff you don’t really care about. By braving to talk about what she's really interested in, you will be taking a risk and making yourself vulnerable, but in a sexy way. You’re also going to stand out from all the other guys who talk to her about boring stuff.
How do you get started doing this? Well you can open on another subject, usually using an I-statement, relating to what they’re doing in the moment you meet them. That usually works out ok, click here for more on how to make I-Statements. But if you meet a girl at a supermarket there is only so long you can make statements about apples for; about a minute into conversation after you've established some comfort, you want to move the conversation on to subjects based around emotions, experiences and feelings.
Feel the conversation isn't heading in the direction you want it to? A good conversation escalator is ‘what is your relationship situation?’ The best questions are always as open as possible to give the widest range of answers... that sounds a lot less pointed than ‘do you have a boyfriend?’ Right? Yes, of course it does.
And if she answers ‘I’ve got a boyfriend’ then remember that is ok. It gives you an opportunity to talk about whether you like being in relationships/ single and be discursive about your past experiences, as well as things you would like to accomplish in the future. Relationship and sex based conversations can also be largely hypothetical. Our top European Instructor Harry says he can happily muse on the complicated possibilities of the female mind, and desire, for many an hour.
Also this gives her an opportunity to say ‘I’ve got a boyfriend BUT it’s not going so well/ he doesn’t treat me right/ I never see him’, and could provide you with vital information as to what her relationship is lacking, and how you can tap into her desire. A girl sometimes likes to leave her boyfriend for an upgrade. So pay attention and don't bail!
So next time you’re at a conversational dead end try the big three topics: love, sex and relationships. Relationship status’ are nearly always ‘complicated’ and make a great starting point for an engaging discussion and instant sexy conversation.
Need more advice on how to switch from talking about apples to oral sex? Then try a Conversation Camp with our master of sexy conversation Wayne Elise.