Sexy people move

I'm flawed. I should have been fitted with braces as a teen but my parents took us to Disney World instead. I supported this decision at the time. But now, I'd rather have the perfect smile.

My arms are unnaturally long. My knuckles drag on the ground as I walk. Most people don't notice this because I usually cradle a coffee cup in my hands. There's a clip of me on You Tube as a guest on the British TV show Ready Steady Cook. Move in close to the screen and you may catch it. At one point I reach across the whole of the kitchen for a glass of wine. That wasn't a camera trick.

But I'm tall. Women like tall guys right?

"You're a toothpick," a girl in school told me. "You're too ungainly," said another. "A bean pole."

At the time, manly men were in. I wanted to be Dolph Lundgren.

"You're an attractive boy," my Mom said when I was young.

Parents lie to their children.

"Fine," I said. "But am I sexy?"

"That's not a proper question to ask your mother."

"What's sexy?"

"Tom Jones."


"Seriously. It's in the way he moves. He's got a lot of soul for a white man."

"Is that why you made dad get a perm?"

"No comment. Now get your stuff off the table and get ready for dinner."

Later that night I propped a mirror up against the wall in my bedroom and tried to dance like Tom Jones. At first I felt silly but then I kinda got the hang of it. I also noticed my arms didn't seem as long when I moved around. Thirty years later I'm still trying to move like Tom Jones.

I'm sure you've noticed, nearly everyone looks sexier when they're dancing or working or exercising or just plain moving around.

Advice based on this principle:

  • Slow down. We spend little actual time at life's destinations but much on its journeys. Start thinking about how you move in everything you do, the way you walk to class, the way you set your coffee cup on the table, the way you make love. Put your attention on your movements. Make them purposeful, not random. Everything that you do in life has a pulse. The sexiest people don't just accomplish a task but find a way to do it with rhythm.
  • Wake up in the morning, put some music on and dance around. With no one watching but your cat or your lovers you'll be free to just have fun and let the music carry you around the flat. This warm up can set your whole to be more rhythmic.

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