A few years ago I knew a girl named Lexa. She was amazing at showing vulnerability. She would sit down next to a woman on a bar stool and say to her, "You have the most beautiful eyes. This might seem quite forward, but do you mind if I kiss you?"
That was the most gutsy thing I ever saw. Lexa's vulnerability made time slow down. A waiter would drop a glass and you could watch it fall in slow motion. A runner outside was suspended in air between strides. All I could think about was how badly Lexa could be rejected.
The woman would blush. She would look around to see who was watching and then she would say, "Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. But um, okay."
And then they would kiss.
"It's incredible," I said to my friend Mike who used more bad language than I did and also rode a Vespa.
"Yeah," he said. "But I saw the pictures of your girl. She's hot. That makes it not a fair fight. If she was ugly then she'd be taking a risk. People could say I'm not kissing your butt-ugly face. Then there'd be tears and she wouldn't do it again. She's a poser. She needs to step it up and be making out with celebrities and shit."
"Whatever," I said. "Shut up."
"You shut up mother fucker. You can't stand it when I'm right."
He was - a little. But only a little. You just have to be there. Being that vulnerable gave Lexa some sort of super power. People responded to her. They wanted to be around her.
Vulnerability makes a person sexy.
When you see a woman who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it is not so much because they think she is beautiful, it is because she has told them they are handsome. ~Jean Giraudoux