Once upon a time, I walked into the Apple Store to buy a pair of noise-canceling headphones, which I admit, look dorky, but I thought they might help me sleep on airplanes. I spotted the headphones on the shelf, just where I expected them to be. I picked up the box and looked at the price. My eyes watered and I felt woozy. Gripping the shelf for support, I thought, ‘Wow, the Apple Store is expensive. I bet I can buy these cheaper somewhere else.’ And so I drove to Circuit City.
I had no idea where Circuit City kept noise-canceling headphones. I wandered around their store searching. I stopped a worker and asked him. He muttered something about his lunch break and waved towards a corner of the store.
So I walked to that area and searched until I spied the headphones. Great. They had the same pair I saw at the Apple Store. I was going to save money. Only problem was the headphones were behind a glass case. So I flagged down another employee. He said, “This isn’t my section but I’ll call the guy.”
Five minutes later, the guy shows up. I tell him I would like to buy the headphones. He says, “Let me get the key to unlock the case.”
A few minutes later he walks back with the key and opens the case and pulls out the package of headphones in their box. The box was attached by a security cord to the display case. “Yeah,” I said, “I want to buy these.”
He stopped playing with the keys for a moment. “Okay. Just let me get the number.”
“The serial number. You can’t buy these. They’re for display. I’ll write down the number and you can take that to the cashier and give it to her and she’ll call upstairs and they’ll send a pair down.”
“Oh. That explains the conveyor belt I saw.”
He nodded and took a sip of the cola he was drinking.
I handed him the headphones. “I’m going to think about it a bit more.” I walked out of Circuit City and drove back to the Apple Store where I paid more for the same headphones.
Think about your experience at the Apple Store. For me it’s an easy one. I walk in. I’m greeted by a smiling person wearing a blue shirt who directs me immediately to the product I’m looking for which is clearly displayed in a logical location.
Once I chose my product, I hand my credit card to the Apple person. She scans it through her iPhone card-reader thing. I don’t even have to stand in line at a cash register.
After the card clears, I sign digitally on her ‘iPhone’ screen. Then she shows me another screen, “Want me to send your receipt to this email we have on file?”
I smile. “Heck yes. Way better than a paper receipt. I love you. I love this fucking, ridiculously expensive store.”
Since I bought those headphones, Apple has accumulated more money than many countries. Circuit City, on the other hand, went bankrupt.
I think the lesson here’s obvious. We should be like the Apple Store. We should be easy to buy.
If you're a man wanting to pick up a woman, she should know that all she has to do is say yes, come to the dark room with you, show up, send a text, wave, anything, and exciting things will happen. Make it easy for her.
The Hard to Buy Dating Technique But instead guys make themselves hard to buy. They fail to say what they want with a woman yet work hard on the logistics of going out with her. So they come across needy without creating any desire in her. They get a girl’s number and text something such as the following.
Guy: Hey funny girl.
Guy: I’m really busy but I have this great party to go to on Saturday. You should go with me.
Girl: Maybe. I will try. Have a lot going on that day. :(
Guy: Okay, let me know. I will pick you up at 8:30 if you can go.
Girl: Text me on Sat and I’ll know if I can go.
Guy: The party will have lots of cool people and my friend is the DJ.
Girl: Okay. I'll let you know. I want to go I just don't know if I can.
She of course will not be going to the party. Why should she? There is nothing in it for her. In his need to sound busy and not-needy he has put fun, romance and sexual excitement out of the picture. He has made himself impossible to buy. The things, which every woman (every man) craves, now seem far away to her. Even if she was very into our guy, she will have to reconsider. Does she really want to sink time into a party with strangers that may or may not lead to something exciting versus the many other things (and men) she could be involved with on Saturday.
The Easy to Buy Dating Technique But imagine if the messaging would have gone differently. Imagine if our guy showed her that romance and sexual excitement are close at hand. Imagine if he made himself easy to buy.
Guy: Hey funny girl.
Guy: I was just thinking about you.
Girl: Thinking what about me?
Guy: Thinking that as best as I can remember you have nice…
Girl: Nice what?
Guy: Nice elbows.
Guy: I’m an elbow man. And yours are great. You can slug me anytime with them.
Girl: :) Thanks. I’ve never had a man compliment my elbows.
Guy: Well, then allow me to be the first. They’re elbowtastic. But you have other features I like too.
Girl: Like what?
Guy: Hmmm, I’m not telling YOU. Ha. Just kidding. I’ll tell you later. I had fun meeting you the other day BTW. I was thinking it would be nice to wander with you around Soho and take photos of each other with my Polaroid camera.
Girl: That sounds nice.
Guy: Maybe after we will sit down and share a glass of wine. Call it a date if you must. :)
Girl: Just one glass?
Guy: Yep, one glass of red wine and one chocolate scone. But not In that order of course.
Girl: Sounds nice.
Girl: Well, when are you proposing to do this ‘date’?
Guy: Soonish. I’m looking forward to seeing you.
Girl: Well Saturday I have my friends dinner party but I’ve been looking for an excuse to skip it. How about Saturday?
Guy: I’ll have to postpone my cat appreciation class but sure, I can do Saturday.
Girl: Ha. What time?
Our guy created a tangible picture of two people sharing romance and possible sexual excitement. He was not vague about his desires. He was easy to buy like a Mac at the Apple Store. Our girl now has something she can anticipate and become excited about.
Situation in Flux Another reason for being easy to buy is the fact that a woman’s ‘situation’ is often in a state of flux. One day she is happy with her boyfriend, the next day she is unhappy, the next day she is happy again, the next day they break up, the next day they get back together, the next day she is unhappy with him, the next day she is happy, and so on. It’s the nature of many relationships.
Think about the implications that arise form that. You may meet a woman when her relationship is at a high. She can’t buy you then. But things change.
For instance, once upon a time I was sitting on a couch with a girl in a London club. She wore a mini skirt. Her legs were distracting me. So I said, “What are you going to do with the rest of your evening?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure. Maybe go to another club. How about you?”
“Well,” I said, “ if I may be honest, I’d like to take you back to my hotel room and spend the rest of the night making love to you.”
She blushed. “Well, uh… I can’t do that. I have a boyfriend that I’m loyal to.”
I nodded. “I understand. Too bad for me. I thought it would be hot to trace my finger up your thigh and maybe bite your neck. I’d work my way up under your chin and suck on your tongue.”
More blushing. “Yes, but like I said I have my boyfriend.”
“Sure, of course.”
Notice, I didn’t take anything back after her rejection. That’s counter-intuitive. When you feel as if you’ve been rejected it’s tempting to say something to cover yourself such as, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” or “I was just kidding.” But instead experience tells me to go the other way. I put more fuel on the flame of desire and I remained easy to buy. She knew that all she had to do was say yes and exciting things would happen to her.
I didn’t sleep with that girl that night or even during that trip. But a week later I received an email from her. She wrote: ‘I can’t stop thinking about what you said to me. Now that I know what it’s like, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been hit on by a man for real before. I have to see you.’
The temptation I created in her mind had overwhelmed her. She went on a temporary break up from her relationship and flew to America. She spent two weeks with me and then went back to her boyfriend.
A woman’s (person's) situation is often complicated, but it’s something that she can alter if she knows there’s something out there for her. Have the willingness to be that thing.
For more information on being easy to buy consider joining a Conversation Camp or taking coaching from the Charisma Arts team.