Why you should tell her you find her hot

Dealing with hot women is like talking to a celebrity. You know they're famous. They know that you know they're famous. To pretend you don't know who they are is just going to make you act silly. Best way to interact with a celebrity is to admit they're a celebrity, introduce yourself and move on to other topics of conversation. "Hey, you're George Peppard from The A Team. I used to play with your action figure. I'm Wayne Elise. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you."

"I thought you were dead. Anyways, It's good to see you. I saw you checking out that girl's butt. Don't worry. I'm not calling you out. It's okay, I was checking her out too."

Same sort of thing with women except for a twist. When I meet an attractive woman I often acknowledge my attraction soonish in the interaction. "Wow, you're very attractive. I think you're like super hot."

But then I add something, you might call it the tricky part. I call it the honest part - the part that allows her to stay involved in the interaction with me. I say, "But, just so you know, I'm NOT hitting on you. I wouldn't hit on anybody without knowing their situation. Hey, I just had a conversation with a ghost. Maybe you saw me talking to an old guy a minute ago..."

This is as close to magic as I can find right now.

Through years of dealing with women, being married twice, dating a playboy model, working the threesome thing, having numerous female friends, rooming with an exotic dancer, and on and on, I can assure you that it does NOT turn women off or chase them away when they know you find them attractive. That's just guy's interpretation of their male-ego experience. That's not what's going on 'under the hood' in women's minds. This is so commonly misunderstood that there should be a name for it such as aphroditeeffectprotophobia.

Women understand when they look hot. They get it. They don't think less of someone when they're attracted to a hot girl. Indeed many hot girls are attracted to hot girls. They're both in the club and on the outside looking in, just like the rest of us. As a man, if you're hesitant to admit your attraction to a woman you're likely to come across as gay or impotent or just 'the friendship type guy'. Don't be afraid of your attraction. Be a wolf!

It's NOT the 'attracted to her' part that puts a woman on edge. It's the implication that you're hitting on her - that you're trying to make something happen without knowing if it makes sense for her at all. Do that and you come across inconsiderate and uncalibrated. She sees you as a guy who puts women in uncomfortable situations. You're like a blind man with a gun trying to get her to hang out. She needs to get away from you - even if she finds you attractive. You might F-up her whole life.

But the good news is that you can reveal your attraction and NOT hit on a woman. I've done that numerous times. It's a good way to live. Doing this will make women feel comfortable and allow them to talk to you and see you as possible sexual material for later on - if it makes sense. It let's women know, that although you carry a gun, you are NOT blind. You're socially aware, considerate and smart. In my experience telling women this sort of thing makes you more attractive to them.

So when do you hit on a woman?

You hit on her after you know her situation. And that 'hitting' will be tailored to the situation.

"So what's your relationship situation, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Not at all. I'm seeing someone."

"Oh good. I'm all for relationships."

"Well, it's long-distance. I don't know if I see us together long-term."


Now you can tailor an idea for the two of you to continue being together based on this new information. And now that she knows that you know her situation, she's way more comfortable hooking up with you. She knows that you understand that she can't be your girlfriend right now, etc…

Make sense? I hope so. Feel free to place your thoughts, good, bad and confused in the comments section here. I love hearing from you guys. Also please let me know if you want more articles on this topic. As always, you can learn more by stalking this site or signing up for training with me or one of our excellent instructors here at Charisma Arts. A good first choice to get you started is often phone coaching.