Charisma arts term: 'Suck'. As in, "This guy came up to me and just sucked the conversation dry." Definition of people who suck: When a conversationalist pushes her or his opinion, wisdom or knowledge onto an unreceptive listener for the delight of being thought smart. This is considered boorish behavior and is often pointless other than as an ego gratification exercise for the speaker. Suck is often the refuge of needy people.
Why do people suck. People who suck will often delude themselves into thinking they are doing good by being helpful repositories of information. They often want others to see them in positive light. The root cause of suck is often a fear of intimacy. People who suck often are unable to talk about their vulnerabilities similarly to funny guys.
How not to suck Rest assured in the smart phone era of always-on, instant information, you can't show value by imparting information. You can't beat an iPhone or a Google. Don't even try. Instead find and use your unique value proposition.
How to deal with people who suck Sometimes people who suck should just be avoided. There is little point investing in a relationship when there are so many other people who don't suck. However that is not always practical. You may have someone at work who sucks. You don't want to quit your job. Sometimes an attractive person who you like can temporarily suck because of nerves.
Do not try to out-info a person who sucks. That will cause you to suck too. Often the suck person will appear alpha. They can be very forceful with their suck knowledge. Don't be fooled. Imparting opinions and information is not representative of a strong psyche. It representative of approval seeking. You are dealing with a weak person. There is no true strength other than the true power.
The problem technically speaking with people who suck is that there is no legitimate handhold into their conversation. This can make a conversational artist feel left out. "My client just talks about basketball. I don't know anything about basketball." No worries. You just need to ask for a handhold. There are two ways to do this. You can ask a version of either question, "What happened?" Requesting action, or "How did that make you feel?" Requesting an emotion. The other person will then say something such as, "It was great," which is NOT really a feeling. So you will say, "Yeah. I'm sure it was. But how did it effect you personally?" Then you will hear something that you can connect to, "I was amazed. I never thought I would get to meet Michael Jordan." Now you can connect to the emotion with a story. "I know who you felt. I felt that way when I saw Sir Richard Branson at my brother's wedding." And so on.